- Be Still and know that I am GOD
As I thought about what to do for my final experience, the idea of reflection, quiet, and renewal popped in to my head over and over. The idea to be alone gripped me. I am an extrovert! I don’t DO alone! I don’t LIKE alone. I am energized by being with people. I realized that more than just disliking the idea, I was afraid of it.
My mind mulled questioned after question. How would I fill the time? I have panic disorder, what if I had a panic attack? My calendar is always full, when could I carve out the time? Excuses, all of them – it was time to conquer fear, experience aloneness, and be still and silent. It was time to reflect on my six decades and think about goals and plans for whatever time I have going forward.
The rest of the evening I worked on art, handiwork, and listened to quiet music and scripture. I thought about what these hours alone and quiet had taught me. First of all, the prayers regarding things I am grateful for seem endless! When given time to reflect and mull the past, God’s plan for me, even in the difficult times is amazing. 24 hours is not enough time for all the “thank you” prayers I could offer.
Finally, the silence has been good. You might actually hear a little less from me in the future! But be aware, my mind is never quiet.